Updates on Life
I am calmer today. Probably the mix of meds I'm on now beginning to kick in. It's rather nice not to be irritable all the time. I can be really on edge sometimes, and while I'm almost positive there is no such thing as a 'happy pill' (though the gas at the dentist works rather nicely) it's just nice to be RELAXED rather than constantly on edge.
I finished a major project today - some census forms that were actually due Monday, but the people I work with didnt get me the data until Friday morning, then didnt show me HOW they wanted the forms completed until Monday mid-day after I'd spent all weekend working to complete them - incorrectly. I could have had a nervous breakdown and lost my cool when he started blithely erasing pages and pages of figures I'd painstakingly looked up on various accounting spreadsheets, but instead I just starting sortof laughing and gasping at the same time. Surprised but ok with it shock. Is that a term? So, I finished them today. Then I spent 20 minutes cleaning my desk. Is that OCD?? I must clean my desk after finishing a project? I'm happier with the dust bunnies gone, thats for sure. This company is big on something it calls '5s' and they actually give us containers of Lysol wipes to keep our desk area dust bunny and stain free, so it wasn't something they'd consider time wasting. I'm using part of my lunch to relax my brain by writing this blog, so I'm good there too.
I called looking for Don earlier. He wasn't home. So I tried his moms. No answer. Finally I called again (at his mom's - thats where he usually is) and his mom answered. She couldnt answer the phone earlier she explained because she was on the phone with her brother who was told this morning that only 15% of his heart was working and he didnt have very long left. She's upset, of course, more so by the fact that her other brother will have surgery soon to have his entire colon removed due to cancer. She's gone through so much in her life, and now she's going through more, and I was calling to ask where the heck her son was. I need psychic powers to know when to leave people the hell alone. She and I talked for a few minutes though - mostly about Raiden, the baby, and she laughed about his little temper tantrum meltdown he had yesterday. So maybe my calling helped.
Speaking of temper tantrums - I have NEVER (except maybe with Ashby) seen a temper tantrum like the one my 8 month old child threw yesterday after Grayson's baseball game (more on that in a minute). He was sleepy - he'd JUST fallen asleep in the stroller when I had to take him out and put him in his car seat. He woke up during that process of course. Then he started screaming. And arching his back, and throwing his little fists and dirty little feet everywhere. He ended up - a mile or so later - turned SIDEWAYS in his 5 point restraint system car seat. I'm not kidding. Head over one side, dirty feet slamming up and down in my direction over the other. Mouth twisted and wide open in cries and screams you would think you'd only hear in a horror movie. The good part. He was P I S S E D. Grayson told me that the other day. Describing Raiden I mean. He spelled it out. "Mom, Raiden was P I S S E D!!" and I laughed about the way he said that and tears came out of my eyes. But I was NOT laughing witnessing this little terror tantrum. With the belt across his neck (sideways, remember?) he didnt look as though he could breathe well, so I pulled over and took him out of his seat, then tried to gently get him back in there the way he was supposed to be.
Nothing doing. This kid was determined to throw the hissy fit of the century. So, I buckled him in and continued on home, trying to get there before my nerves wore completely out. The boys in the back were talking to me, but I'm not quite sure what they were saying, other than commenting happily about what a mean little brat their baby brother was being and asking why I didnt threaten to beat HIM to death the way I did them when they were bad. I tried to be nice. I sang songs. I pulled out my scrunchy and gave it to him. The scrunchy was flung out the DRIVERS side window. Bye bye scrunchy. How does an 8 month old baby have the aim and power to do that?? He's the one that needs to be on a baseball team.
Finally I pulled into our subdivision and pulled off the side of the road again. I pulled his little purple sweaty screaming fist clinching chunky butt out of the car seat and tossed him over my left shoulder to look out the window for a minute.
Utter and complete silence. The child had finally shut up. So, yes, bad mother that I am, I drove the rest of the way home with him over my shoulder. It was back streets dammit. I know it was unsafe, but it was quiet, and he was happy. As soon as we got home I took him to my bed, laid down, and popped the boob in his mouth. Four and a half milliseconds later, his little eyes drifted closed with his hands stroking the magic freckle juice machine. This stuff is apparently far better than cappucino for inducing euphoria. He slept for a solid hour. During this time I watered my garden (quality time with Nicholas running through the sprinkler), fussed with Grayson about a toy I ordered for him that he suddenly decided was the right brand but wrong figure (Xevoz???? "Ugh, did it *have* to be the shaman mom??" Uh, kid, I ordered the ONLY two flippen figures OFFERED on the hasbro.com site!! Shut up and be grateful for once brat.) and found the chance to sneak some potty time. Yes Lord, Amen!
Ok, back to the baseball game. My baby went up to bat two times, and both times scored a hit. He made it to second base on the first one, then the next batter brought him home. On the second hit he made it to first base, then to second base on the next hit, then the next batter brought him home again. That beautiful little freckled face looked totally proud and triumphant (Grayson does NOT smile when he's proud, he looks like a little lion, chin up, presidential I conquered your asses proud). As he ran over home plate he jerked his head back to tip the helmet off, scooped it off with his hand and ran all the way back to the dugout with that smug little look. I was, of course, screaming my fool head off. RUN GRAYSON RUN!!! The other parents have learned his name too and scream with me. YAY BABY!! GOOD JOB!!! GO BABY GO!!! He didnt like baseball at first, but as he gets better and better, he's loving it more and more. He's looking forward to games.
Nicholas, poor left handed baby that he is, can't hit to save his life. For some reason, when the ball comes towards him, he takes a BIG step backwards and chops wood (bat swings towards the ground) in almost slow motion. I need to work with him. But I'm never home. So, he loved baseball to start with, and now his little heart is just saddened and upset. He just says "I never hit a home run" and I want to crumble then and there. I bought a $40 bat for that child, it was too big, so his coach wouldnt let him use it. Grayson used it to get his two runs though. I need to go back and get the smaller one. Another $25, but if it helps, hey, I'm willing to pay 10x that much. I just need to get him actually hitting the ball so that he can get his joy back about baseball.
I also bought the family swim pass for the county pool - again this year. Last year I was heavy and pregnant and not working outside the home, so we spent lots of time there. This year Don is home and promises to take them. I want to spend weekends there :) I also rented the whole pool for 2 hours on July 29 for Grayson's 10th birthday. It's a big milestone and I want it to be special. I cant wait :)
I finished a major project today - some census forms that were actually due Monday, but the people I work with didnt get me the data until Friday morning, then didnt show me HOW they wanted the forms completed until Monday mid-day after I'd spent all weekend working to complete them - incorrectly. I could have had a nervous breakdown and lost my cool when he started blithely erasing pages and pages of figures I'd painstakingly looked up on various accounting spreadsheets, but instead I just starting sortof laughing and gasping at the same time. Surprised but ok with it shock. Is that a term? So, I finished them today. Then I spent 20 minutes cleaning my desk. Is that OCD?? I must clean my desk after finishing a project? I'm happier with the dust bunnies gone, thats for sure. This company is big on something it calls '5s' and they actually give us containers of Lysol wipes to keep our desk area dust bunny and stain free, so it wasn't something they'd consider time wasting. I'm using part of my lunch to relax my brain by writing this blog, so I'm good there too.
I called looking for Don earlier. He wasn't home. So I tried his moms. No answer. Finally I called again (at his mom's - thats where he usually is) and his mom answered. She couldnt answer the phone earlier she explained because she was on the phone with her brother who was told this morning that only 15% of his heart was working and he didnt have very long left. She's upset, of course, more so by the fact that her other brother will have surgery soon to have his entire colon removed due to cancer. She's gone through so much in her life, and now she's going through more, and I was calling to ask where the heck her son was. I need psychic powers to know when to leave people the hell alone. She and I talked for a few minutes though - mostly about Raiden, the baby, and she laughed about his little temper tantrum meltdown he had yesterday. So maybe my calling helped.
Speaking of temper tantrums - I have NEVER (except maybe with Ashby) seen a temper tantrum like the one my 8 month old child threw yesterday after Grayson's baseball game (more on that in a minute). He was sleepy - he'd JUST fallen asleep in the stroller when I had to take him out and put him in his car seat. He woke up during that process of course. Then he started screaming. And arching his back, and throwing his little fists and dirty little feet everywhere. He ended up - a mile or so later - turned SIDEWAYS in his 5 point restraint system car seat. I'm not kidding. Head over one side, dirty feet slamming up and down in my direction over the other. Mouth twisted and wide open in cries and screams you would think you'd only hear in a horror movie. The good part. He was P I S S E D. Grayson told me that the other day. Describing Raiden I mean. He spelled it out. "Mom, Raiden was P I S S E D!!" and I laughed about the way he said that and tears came out of my eyes. But I was NOT laughing witnessing this little terror tantrum. With the belt across his neck (sideways, remember?) he didnt look as though he could breathe well, so I pulled over and took him out of his seat, then tried to gently get him back in there the way he was supposed to be.
Nothing doing. This kid was determined to throw the hissy fit of the century. So, I buckled him in and continued on home, trying to get there before my nerves wore completely out. The boys in the back were talking to me, but I'm not quite sure what they were saying, other than commenting happily about what a mean little brat their baby brother was being and asking why I didnt threaten to beat HIM to death the way I did them when they were bad. I tried to be nice. I sang songs. I pulled out my scrunchy and gave it to him. The scrunchy was flung out the DRIVERS side window. Bye bye scrunchy. How does an 8 month old baby have the aim and power to do that?? He's the one that needs to be on a baseball team.
Finally I pulled into our subdivision and pulled off the side of the road again. I pulled his little purple sweaty screaming fist clinching chunky butt out of the car seat and tossed him over my left shoulder to look out the window for a minute.
Utter and complete silence. The child had finally shut up. So, yes, bad mother that I am, I drove the rest of the way home with him over my shoulder. It was back streets dammit. I know it was unsafe, but it was quiet, and he was happy. As soon as we got home I took him to my bed, laid down, and popped the boob in his mouth. Four and a half milliseconds later, his little eyes drifted closed with his hands stroking the magic freckle juice machine. This stuff is apparently far better than cappucino for inducing euphoria. He slept for a solid hour. During this time I watered my garden (quality time with Nicholas running through the sprinkler), fussed with Grayson about a toy I ordered for him that he suddenly decided was the right brand but wrong figure (Xevoz???? "Ugh, did it *have* to be the shaman mom??" Uh, kid, I ordered the ONLY two flippen figures OFFERED on the hasbro.com site!! Shut up and be grateful for once brat.) and found the chance to sneak some potty time. Yes Lord, Amen!
Ok, back to the baseball game. My baby went up to bat two times, and both times scored a hit. He made it to second base on the first one, then the next batter brought him home. On the second hit he made it to first base, then to second base on the next hit, then the next batter brought him home again. That beautiful little freckled face looked totally proud and triumphant (Grayson does NOT smile when he's proud, he looks like a little lion, chin up, presidential I conquered your asses proud). As he ran over home plate he jerked his head back to tip the helmet off, scooped it off with his hand and ran all the way back to the dugout with that smug little look. I was, of course, screaming my fool head off. RUN GRAYSON RUN!!! The other parents have learned his name too and scream with me. YAY BABY!! GOOD JOB!!! GO BABY GO!!! He didnt like baseball at first, but as he gets better and better, he's loving it more and more. He's looking forward to games.
Nicholas, poor left handed baby that he is, can't hit to save his life. For some reason, when the ball comes towards him, he takes a BIG step backwards and chops wood (bat swings towards the ground) in almost slow motion. I need to work with him. But I'm never home. So, he loved baseball to start with, and now his little heart is just saddened and upset. He just says "I never hit a home run" and I want to crumble then and there. I bought a $40 bat for that child, it was too big, so his coach wouldnt let him use it. Grayson used it to get his two runs though. I need to go back and get the smaller one. Another $25, but if it helps, hey, I'm willing to pay 10x that much. I just need to get him actually hitting the ball so that he can get his joy back about baseball.
I also bought the family swim pass for the county pool - again this year. Last year I was heavy and pregnant and not working outside the home, so we spent lots of time there. This year Don is home and promises to take them. I want to spend weekends there :) I also rented the whole pool for 2 hours on July 29 for Grayson's 10th birthday. It's a big milestone and I want it to be special. I cant wait :)
posted by Danielle at 1:18 PM
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