My response to the 'George Carlin' thing:
I am not a bad American. I'm a good American. Want to know why?
1 - I'm in touch with my feelings. Ask Dad next time I'm yelling at him or my kids next time I'm hugging them or my mom next time I'm calling her to cry about whatever is bugging the crap out of me that day. I'm not sure what this has to do with my American-ness, but what the hell.
2 - He's right - being a minority doesn't make you a minority of victemized. But if someone starts talking crap about you because of your color, sex, or size (and not because of the way you're acting at the moment) tell them to shut the hell up. Freedom of speech is still a freedom here. When they start laughing like the redneck hillbilly frat boys they probably are, walk away, knowing you're still smarter than they are and retarded people can't be reasoned with.
3 - If you are selling George a Big Mac, you have bigger problems than the language barrier. Big Mac can't be translated, so how hard can this be? Its the same in Spanish or English. And if the redneck in your line is laughing at your accent, tell them to shut the hell up. In the three other languages you know. Freedom of speech doesn't require you to speak in English. If you have the time, remind the redneck that Columbus sailed the ocean blue and discovered this damned land with boats funded by King Ferdinand and Queen Isabella - of fricken Spain. They spoke SPANISH. When they arrived they met other brown skinned people. WHO DIDNT SPEAK ENGLISH. Deal with it.
4 - I agree - pray to your God or whoever whenever you want to. And shut the hell up when I want to pray to mine.
5 - My heroes are my mom, my grandmother, and the other long line of women who eventually caused and lived through birth so that I could get here. They worked three times as hard as any man in their life and got 1/3 of the credit and still managed to find the time to teach the most abstract concept of all - love. John Wayne was a fricken actor. He got paid to swagger. That does not make him a hero.
6 - I don't hate the rich, I want to be one. I do pity the poor. Their children especially. Because *my* God told me to. If you don't, then stop claiming to believe in Jesus. This is a stupid line in that email.
7 & 8 - Yes, wrestling is fake and slavery was a long time ago. I didn't come up with or support either concept. I'd be all too happy to afford to pay other people to cook and clean for me, why would I try to get it for free??
9 - I believe if you don't like things the way they are, bitch about it. DUH. That's why we have the bill of rights. Telling people to go back to where they came from is pretty much the same as saying 'accept your government at face value, accept crime and poverty, and be called an idiot if you don't agree with it' - that's so stupid it doesn't even need me to tell you all that, but just in case you missed my point - the world was never improved by people sitting and doing nothing in the face of injustice. One person can change the world - by affecting those around them - and no one should ever settle for or accept injustice, pain, hunger, hatred, grief, sorrow, insanity, or any other bad thing. You have an obligation as a human to leave the world a better place than the way you found it and if you don't believe this to be true then you're pretty much the waste of a good soul.
10 - Jesse Jackson is a political figure, the cops can be corrupt and people recognize that fact (and if you don't, you're blind), and how are you again proud of the word God if you don't pity the poor or think you're supposed to improve the world? Hello? Can we say 'hypocrit'??
11 - A lot of old veterens will be quite happy to shoot your ass for calling them stupid for marking a confusing ballot wrong. I'm happy to send them your way. And what does your picture on your drivers license have to do with anything? People were pissed about those pictures and their personal information being sold - not being on the license.
12 - It takes two parents to raise a child, but their grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, older siblings, and old women on the street who need grandchildren should all be respected for their input and time. Besides, who the hell else is going to step in and babysit when mom is about to pull dad's hair out? Who will teach the parents what to do AND step in to save the brat when the child has just painted the living room with peanut butter? Who will kiss boo-boos and help pass down family traditions and teach kids moral values? Who will take care of the child if the worst should happen to the parents? "it doesn't take a village" - yes, it does, and we parents are damned grateful for their input. Especially when a 18 month old wanders down a busy street because his mom had to take her eyes off of him for 3 minutes to hang up laundry on the line and part of that village comes carrying his skinny naked butt back to the very frantic new mommy.
13 - Illegal means Jose and Maria couldnt access the internet in their hut on a dirt road - can YOU tell me how to get US citizenship without having to google it first? If not, shut up and have some compassion for starving people wanting only to come here and work their butts off for less than minimum wage. They're not carrying bombs people. They'd get citizenship if they knew how. If you don't agree, go your asses back to England. The Cherokee and Aztec and Blackfoot, and Catawba, and etc never invited you and never once issued you citizenship papers. And change your 'statue of liberty' to read 'your huddled citizenship paper waving, english as a first language speaking, college educated, already got a job, masses' and THEN stop griping about Medicare and get all of the actual American citizens off of it who are having nine or ten kids, doing and selling drugs, and gathering afdc checks. Listen people, you got bigger damn problems than Jose and Maria. And hey, if you ask nicely, they might actually join the military and help you fight your other imaginary enemies.
14 - Price of gas? Supply and demand. Stop driving 12 mpg SUVs and bitching about the price of gas. If you want to suck gas up like tickle me elmos at Christmas, yes, the price will go up. Duh. It's called a capitalistic society for a reason - Exxon is capitalizing on your stupidity. Ticket scalping at the last KISS concert should have taught you this. Higher demand + limited resources = higher prices.
15 - Then take down the rebel flag at the state house. Take down the state flags for that matter. Take down the corporate flags, the McDonald's flags, the Clemson flags, the 'dont tread on me' flags. If you're going to issue stupid proclamations, at least be brave enough to live by them.
I double dare you to pass THIS ONE on.
Ya Gotta Love George
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YES, I'M A BAD AMERICAN
by: George Carlin
I Am Your Worst Nightmare. I am a BAD American. I am George Carlin.
I'm in touch with my feelings and I like it that way!
I think owning a gun doesn't make you a killer, it makes you a smart
American.
I think being a minority does not make you noble or victimized, and does
not entitle you to anything.
I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, try to do it in English.
I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God when and where
they want to.
My heroes are John Wayne, Babe Ruth, Roy Rogers, and whoever canceled
Jerry Springer.
I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor.
I know wrestling is fake and I don't waste my time watching or arguing
about it.
I've never owned a slave, or was a slave, I didn't wander forty years in
the desert after getting chased out of Egypt. I haven't burned any
witches or been persecuted by the Turks and neither have you! So, shut
up already.
I believe if you don't like the way things are here, go back to where
you came from and change your own country! This is AMERICA.
I want to know which church is it exactly where the Reverend Jesse
Jackson practices, where he gets his money, and why he is always part of
the problem and not the solution. Can I get an AMEN on that one?
I think the cops have every right to shoot your sorry rear if you're
running from them..
I also think they have the right to pull you over if you're breaking the
law, regardless of what color you are.
And, no, I don't mind having my face shown on my drivers license. I
think it's good..... and I'm proud that "God" is written on my money. I
think if you are too stupid to know how a ballot works, I don't want you
deciding who should be running the most powerful nation in the world for
the next four years.
I dislike those people standing in the intersections trying to sell me
stuff or trying to guilt me into making "donations" to their cause.
These people should be targets.
I believe that it doesn't take a village to raise a child, it takes two
parents.
And what is going on with gas prices... again?
I believe "illegal" is illegal no matter what the politicians think.
I believe the American flag should be the only one allowed in AMERICA!
If this makes me a BAD American, then yes, I'm a BAD American.
If you are a BAD American too, please forward this to everyone you know.
We need our country back!